Hello out there! It seems that I'm on a once-per-month blogging schedule. I'd like to kick that up a notch or two, but my follow-through never catches up with my intentions. Well, at least I'm stitching so it could be worse - no stitching AND no blogging would be the pits!
When last we spoke I mentioned the Dutch Treat table topper that I finished in March. I started the project in 2006 as a gift for Ruth, my mother-in-law. She loves little white churches, so I chose the design "Scenes from Yesteryear" and then took a few liberties with it. The village in the chart only has one church, so I morphed the little school house into a church. OK, so it looks like a school with a cross on the roof. Whatever. Here is how it turned out.
This project was fraught with disaster, peril and other bad things. If it could go wrong, it went wrong. Right off the bat I discovered that no matter how hard I twisted the q-snaps, I couldn't get the table topper fabric tight enough to suit me. I like the fabric tight enough that you can bounce a quarter on it. Like a bed at military school or boot camp. The fabric has to be tight in the q-snaps. That's Tight with a capital T.
So the perle cotton slipped and slid on the fabric and inspired me say bad words. (Just kidding, Mom!) (Just kidding, Ruth!) After finishing several squares I though maybe I should work on the border as I went along. That's when I discovered that the table topper was cut short, and there wasn't enough fabric to stitch the border on one side. Thank-you-ever-so-much to the cross stitch shop that sold me the fabric. The shop is now out of business and shall remain nameless. I am still bitter.
At that point I put the project away. I just couldn't look at it any more. The fabric sucked and there wasn't enough of it. The stitching didn't look so great either. Ick!
Fast forward to this year. I made up an acronym for 2008; NAY = "Not Another Year." I had a stitching basket full of WIPs (some would say UFOs) that needed to either get finished or go away. I was not going to hold them over for another year. I was soooo tempted to make this particular project go away. In fact, I began to devise wicked ways to kill it! I'm here to tell you, that's that only thing that got me through.
In January I put "Scenes from Yesteryear" back in the q-snaps. Right from the beginning things went wrong. Suddenly the cat on the fence was in the wrong place. The tree was too close to the border. The church had too many windows. Mistake after mistake after mistake. Every time I made a mistake I gave myself permission to stop and destroy the project in some new and special way. Yet every single time I decided it wasn't worth it and I went on to stitch the next square or the next cat or the next tree. Whatever. In the end, this was my game plan:
- The project is on white fabric; toss a pot of coffee on it. Rub in coffee grounds.
- Let it dry with the coffee on it, all crusty and gross.
- Get out a razor (scissors would be too kind) and slice it to ribbons.
- Place the shredded fabric in the driveway.
- Drive the car over it several times. Be sure to get tire marks on it!
- Return the car to the safety of the garage.
- Gather the fabric scraps into a heap and set them on fire.
- Hose the ashes into the ditch.
I did not like this project. Luckily, Ruth *did* like it! She received it for her birthday in April. Thank goodness, she likes it in spite of the imperfections and, um, creative license I took with it. I hope you enjoy it Ruth! If it ever gives you any trouble, don't hesitate to back over it with your car!
Time to go through my fabric stash and weed out any bits of table topper fabric that might be lurking in there. Blech!